Oppose inhibition, support wild passion.

October 18, 2009.

I was partying it up on a Saturday night at Play Lounge as always. Only difference was the fully developed bambino in my belly. And instead of shots of patron, I was noshing on wings all night. I was the type of prego that you wouldn’t complain about because I barely complained myself. I enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy. I was out and about at all hours of the night joining poker sessions sans beer, at the beach every other day working on my tan, parties, lunch, dinner, etc. etc. You know, the fun prego. I was never NOT invited anywhere. Everyone knows I was down for whatever.

So Ethan stopped growing at about 5 lbs once I was full term at 36 weeks. The doc advised us to induce labor on my due date and I was all for it anxious to meet the little guy. Tuesday the 20th was my due date but I guess Ethan couldn’t wait any longer and was good and ready at the early morning of Sunday the 18th of October. I knew it was coming because daaah! my due date but I’ve also been getting contractions and the “bloody show” with some mucus the week prior.

Around 2:00 am the contractions were really starting to bother me that I actually wanted to go home for once. But the husby and friends wanted to eat out at High Pearl after the lounge and being the fat ass that I am could never turn down this delicious spot. Their Chinese food is BOMB. I knew something was wrong when I couldn’t even eat much because the contractions were hurting more and more. I kept contemplating in my head if we should head to the hospital but stubborn me didn’t want to. I didn’t wanna be strap down to a bed when I could be at home for awhile. We got home around 4:00 am, I took a shower and tried to relax. Around 6:00 am I couldn’t take it anymore. The contractions were coming closer and closer and longer than ever. I woke up the husband to tell him I wanted to go the hospital like right NOW. His response, “kaya mo yan.. mamaya na”. Translation- “you can do it.. lets go later”. Fuck you I wanna go now. I was starting to panic and pretty damn terrified of how much it hurts! So he got his groggy hung over ass up and our friend drove us to the hospital. It was raining pretty hard so we couldn’t speed. That 30 minute car ride I started doing the Our Father in my head whenever a contraction would come. Let me tell you guys. That helped so much! It kept my mind focus for a bit on the prayer and gave me reassurance that everything will be fine.

We got to the hospital and I was bleeding so much along with the white mucus stuff. The doc checked me and the first thing she said was “Why didn’t you come earlier??! You’re 8 cm!.. no wait 6 cm”. I was just like oh I was at a party. Hahaha. I can’t ever forget when the nurse said, “We’re having a baby today”. I was in shock, “TODAY?!”. I knew I was having a baby but not that day.. Sunday when I planned to wash the babies clothes and set up his bassinet? Yeah I’m the ultimate procrastinator.

I was so over the damn contractions and wanted the epidural asap. After all the tests and waiting for the anesthesiologist I was given one around 10:00 am. Whoever invented this wonderful numbing drug is a fucking genius. I was so tired I knocked out once the epidural kicked in. The nurses and doctors checking how far I was dilated were such killers for waking me up every now and then from my wonderful nap. Before I knew it I was fully dilated and was told that if I felt like I have to poop then it was time to push. Uhh guys I was feeling like that for awhile now why didn’t you tell me before? (Can’t you tell I never took a birthing class?). The whole time I was freezing cold, shivering with my teeth chattering and I asked the nurse what’s wrong with me. She said it’s normal that I’m freezing cold because I’m about to give birth with a DUH look on her face like I should have known. Fuck man I’m sorry I didn’t do my homework, sheesh!

The push - fuck this part! I kinda wished I took a class on how to push. I was getting so frustrated every time I would push and had to hold my breathe for 10 seconds. 10-15 minutes of pushing and I was screaming like a little bitch, “I can’t do it! I’m tired”. So the doc snipped snipped me (episiotomy) and with the help of the vacuum thing, baby boy Ethan was born at 1:49 PM. I was so in shock that my first words were “that’s it?? I’m done?!”. The nurse said YEAH and I just started bawling. Tears of joy, relief, amazement, all those wonderful feelings pouring out of me. Ethan was cleaned and wrapped and was handed to Mark first. I couldn’t believe it.

I got to hold him for the first time and all those cliche of “omg I fell in love with him the minute I laid eyes on him” was definitely not for me. I stared at that tiny 5.14 lbs peanut like he was a stranger. It didn’t hit me that it was all real, that I have a baby and I’m responsible of another human being until we got home a couple of days later. I “fell in love” with Ethan a week or so later once I got the hang of taking care of a newborn, breastfeeding, and all that. I love how clueless I was about babies but it all came so natural, this motherhood thing.

So that’s my story. The beginning to my everything. The day my favorite person in the world was born. <3